when is it time to just let go?
i am 26 getting ready to 27 - MID twenties... lot's of life changing events happen to ya in your twenties... more than likely it's marriage, buying a house, starting a family, finishing college, starting your "career"..... all of these things and more, but the hardest thing about your 20's is the expectations of the people around you - like family or friends. i think at this time in my life i am a normal 26 year old young wife trying to start a family with my husband and we have a great house and cat and all this nice stuff our life is FAB right? i mean i'd like to think it is... expectations are the DEVIL! lol when people expect something to happen and it doesn't.. they get pissed, PISSED! but what happends when your expectations for something and a friends doesn't MEET?robyn and i have had this problem for about a year or so... just different expectations of what our friendship should be or what we thought it would be like in our 20's. but we have worked through our differences and still remain friends even though the expectations that we use to have of what we would be like now are gone.
mark has been so wronged by the people he cares about and it continues to happen to him, like he is some nieve child that just keeps opening doors for these ass holes to come in and take a lil bit of the "sweet, caring and sensitive" mark with them when the tear through our lives and leave.
what is it about mark? why can't he have one true friend that wont screw him or try to get over on him???? he is a great guy and and the more things happen to him the more jaded he becomes the more he is "changing" and becoming emotionally hardened - the more my expectations of him are being washed away... for the most part he is still the same ol mark but there is change there and the way he looks at life or sees the world. :( its SAD!
i feel so BAD for him that he has to go through life feeling like there is no one in the world that he can trust or depend on when he needs them there the most they will be GONE just like his confidence in people. period.
its like - the people he puts his faith and confidence in end up taking that for weakness or something....
his two best friends in high school stole money from my dad... like thousands of dollars. mark had gotten them a job with him working for my dad in the summer time and they STOLE from us... and then acted like nothing happend while one was riding around in a brand new camero they had just enough money to put a down payment on... hmm now you tell me how a 17 year old kid that works/steals shoes at finish line can afford a car like that, just out of the blue? and the other one... was the one that mark most identified with, the one that he thought was MOST like him that was his BEST friend went along with this scheme to get "rich" quick. marks heart was broken. his closest buddies fucked him!!! Needless to say that was the end of those relationships. we haven't seen nor talked to them since that happened and the way mark is now - it's prolly better off that way.
next is his own father in law... the one that lured him from his ups job and college to work for his business full time with the prospects of the business becoming his one day. 1.5 years left of college, he has dollar signs in his eyes and does what he thinks is best for his new wife and future family, only to be taken advantage of and broken like a old work mule. marks a hard worker and is loyal to his employer (who ever it may be) and that got taken advantage of - BIG TIME! i don't have to go into detail about the betrayal in this situation - most people that read my blog have read it before so there is no use in "chewing my cabbage twice" but when two bulls bunt heads you can imagine that it wasn't pretty and there i was stuck in the middle - i mean how does one choose between her HUSBAND and DAD! grant it, he isn't my biological father but he has been the only father figure i have had in my life. and just to prove how wonderful my husband is, he was and still is willing to keep a tight lip and bit his tongue, for MY SAKE! because he knows i am a "no drama" type of girl and i just couldn't handle it if i had them hating each other and me be in the middle 24/7.
the last and most recent event... and old friend. been around for at the very least 15 years or so... a friend that knows just about everything about everything because he has been around for so long. the one that mark considered to be the one person he could count on, the one person that had ties with his past and childhood.... now is no more.
though he was a close friend of marks he has "fallin off the earth" a bazillion times only to come back and hang out for a few and the fall off the earth again. lol having him as a friend is like throwing a boomarang.
the last conversation between them about 4 or 5 months ago ended in mark hangin up on him because he is always like... "OH poor pityfull ME" - even though he HAS had a hard life and has always gotten the "short stick" i honestly believe that it's because of the way he handles himself, like he brings it on himself or something i dunno, all i know is drama and stupid stuff such as the following... follow him around!
but as with anything... 10 - 12 years of "oh poor me" or guilt trips because life doesn't shit on us like it does him and all this CRAP - gets old! when mark hung up on him he felt like that was "IT" that was the end of their relationship cause he was tired of trying with him and tired of it all being about HIM....
so he calls mark one day out of the blue last week and decides that 4 or 5 months of not talkin has resolved the issues between them. so mark invites him to come play poker with us at marks the next weekend - he comes and is the only one playing that isn't in our "normal" poker tourny group. so we're playin along and have to take a couple of smoke breaks in between for the smokers that can't smoke in the house (KK's rules) <--- marks mom. during one of the breaks "d" comes up to me and was like you wont believe what he just said to me and she says he told her that he was going to smack her ass... um yea she is a MARRIED woman and has been for 5 years, this isn't something NEW or anything that has changed and he KNOWS that! and the night just went down hill from there. the drama was elevated to new level and stuff got said and it was just a big ol' ordeal!! again, marks heart was broken. :( and a chapter in his life with this person is over. i just don't know what to do, especially if it happends again, he told josh mccollum, (who i just overheard him tell someone the other day that mark was his bestfriend) that if he ever did something to him to just shoot him cause he can't take it again!
i dunno... i guess i just needed to vent a lil on behalf of my luv. :(
plus it's lunch time and i have to cut this off... cause it's prolly all long and stuff by now. lol
posted by ~Manda @ 11:33 AM
1Whatcha Think:
Not that I'm saying it didn't happen but did he really say that to D? She's said he's said stuff like that before when in fact it was just her trying to make herself feel like he still wanted her. She did that at your wedding.
As far as choosing between mark and pat... thats hard to do and yes it was great of mark to be the bigger man and let bygones be bygones for your sake but in his defense, your vows do say "forsaking all others" and that includes your parents, especially if they were the ones that were wrong.. and pat was wrong in that situation.
Was it JH that stole from Pat? I got confused there lol.
JH has always had his head screwed on a little sideways, we've always known that, and he's almost always let Mark down one way or another, maybe it's time to just push him away for good, might be in everyones best interest. At least Mark has Anthony, I don't see Ant as the type who would screw over any of his friends, he's a good guy. Lol doesn't like me much, but good guy none the less... lmao!
"chew your cabbage twice"? um... gross... lol
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