~Manda's Thoughts~

Some of my Scrapbooking

posted by ~Manda @ 9:57 AM 4 comments

when is it time to just let go?

i am 26 getting ready to 27 - MID twenties... lot's of life changing events happen to ya in your twenties... more than likely it's marriage, buying a house, starting a family, finishing college, starting your "career"..... all of these things and more, but the hardest thing about your 20's is the expectations of the people around you - like family or friends. i think at this time in my life i am a normal 26 year old young wife trying to start a family with my husband and we have a great house and cat and all this nice stuff our life is FAB right? i mean i'd like to think it is... expectations are the DEVIL! lol when people expect something to happen and it doesn't.. they get pissed, PISSED! but what happends when your expectations for something and a friends doesn't MEET?
robyn and i have had this problem for about a year or so... just different expectations of what our friendship should be or what we thought it would be like in our 20's. but we have worked through our differences and still remain friends even though the expectations that we use to have of what we would be like now are gone.

mark has been so wronged by the people he cares about and it continues to happen to him, like he is some nieve child that just keeps opening doors for these ass holes to come in and take a lil bit of the "sweet, caring and sensitive" mark with them when the tear through our lives and leave.
what is it about mark? why can't he have one true friend that wont screw him or try to get over on him???? he is a great guy and and the more things happen to him the more jaded he becomes the more he is "changing" and becoming emotionally hardened - the more my expectations of him are being washed away... for the most part he is still the same ol mark but there is change there and the way he looks at life or sees the world. :( its SAD!
i feel so BAD for him that he has to go through life feeling like there is no one in the world that he can trust or depend on when he needs them there the most they will be GONE just like his confidence in people. period.
its like - the people he puts his faith and confidence in end up taking that for weakness or something....
his two best friends in high school stole money from my dad... like thousands of dollars. mark had gotten them a job with him working for my dad in the summer time and they STOLE from us... and then acted like nothing happend while one was riding around in a brand new camero they had just enough money to put a down payment on... hmm now you tell me how a 17 year old kid that works/steals shoes at finish line can afford a car like that, just out of the blue? and the other one... was the one that mark most identified with, the one that he thought was MOST like him that was his BEST friend went along with this scheme to get "rich" quick. marks heart was broken. his closest buddies fucked him!!! Needless to say that was the end of those relationships. we haven't seen nor talked to them since that happened and the way mark is now - it's prolly better off that way.

next is his own father in law... the one that lured him from his ups job and college to work for his business full time with the prospects of the business becoming his one day. 1.5 years left of college, he has dollar signs in his eyes and does what he thinks is best for his new wife and future family, only to be taken advantage of and broken like a old work mule. marks a hard worker and is loyal to his employer (who ever it may be) and that got taken advantage of - BIG TIME! i don't have to go into detail about the betrayal in this situation - most people that read my blog have read it before so there is no use in "chewing my cabbage twice" but when two bulls bunt heads you can imagine that it wasn't pretty and there i was stuck in the middle - i mean how does one choose between her HUSBAND and DAD! grant it, he isn't my biological father but he has been the only father figure i have had in my life. and just to prove how wonderful my husband is, he was and still is willing to keep a tight lip and bit his tongue, for MY SAKE! because he knows i am a "no drama" type of girl and i just couldn't handle it if i had them hating each other and me be in the middle 24/7.

the last and most recent event... and old friend. been around for at the very least 15 years or so... a friend that knows just about everything about everything because he has been around for so long. the one that mark considered to be the one person he could count on, the one person that had ties with his past and childhood.... now is no more.
though he was a close friend of marks he has "fallin off the earth" a bazillion times only to come back and hang out for a few and the fall off the earth again. lol having him as a friend is like throwing a boomarang.
the last conversation between them about 4 or 5 months ago ended in mark hangin up on him because he is always like... "OH poor pityfull ME" - even though he HAS had a hard life and has always gotten the "short stick" i honestly believe that it's because of the way he handles himself, like he brings it on himself or something i dunno, all i know is drama and stupid stuff such as the following... follow him around!
but as with anything... 10 - 12 years of "oh poor me" or guilt trips because life doesn't shit on us like it does him and all this CRAP - gets old! when mark hung up on him he felt like that was "IT" that was the end of their relationship cause he was tired of trying with him and tired of it all being about HIM....

so he calls mark one day out of the blue last week and decides that 4 or 5 months of not talkin has resolved the issues between them. so mark invites him to come play poker with us at marks the next weekend - he comes and is the only one playing that isn't in our "normal" poker tourny group. so we're playin along and have to take a couple of smoke breaks in between for the smokers that can't smoke in the house (KK's rules) <--- marks mom. during one of the breaks "d" comes up to me and was like you wont believe what he just said to me and she says he told her that he was going to smack her ass... um yea she is a MARRIED woman and has been for 5 years, this isn't something NEW or anything that has changed and he KNOWS that! and the night just went down hill from there. the drama was elevated to new level and stuff got said and it was just a big ol' ordeal!! again, marks heart was broken. :( and a chapter in his life with this person is over. i just don't know what to do, especially if it happends again, he told josh mccollum, (who i just overheard him tell someone the other day that mark was his bestfriend) that if he ever did something to him to just shoot him cause he can't take it again!
i dunno... i guess i just needed to vent a lil on behalf of my luv. :(

plus it's lunch time and i have to cut this off... cause it's prolly all long and stuff by now. lol

posted by ~Manda @ 11:33 AM 1 comments

me and my luv on his bday - more pics to come 

posted by ~Manda @ 12:22 PM 4 comments

i love this pic... totally overexposed but it's too good not to post :D 

posted by ~Manda @ 12:20 PM 0 comments

mark with his new shirt, shorts and shoes on that he got for his bday 

posted by ~Manda @ 12:20 PM 0 comments

lol his mom bought a 7 instead of an eight so she just used the 2 fours that she had from someone elses bday! LOL it equals 28.. do you see the plus sign in there too! HA HA HA 

posted by ~Manda @ 12:19 PM 2 comments

handsome 

posted by ~Manda @ 12:18 PM 0 comments

MY hunny His birthday was Friday the 16th... i wanted to have a whole post dedicated to my luv but my damn hello program wasn't workin :(  

posted by ~Manda @ 12:17 PM 0 comments

this sucks >:(

what the hell is the problem with my blogger and hello working together!?!?! i have been trying to post more pics since like 2 weeks ago and it wont let me. when i go to sign in to hello to post a pic on blogger its tells me my user name and password combo is invalid or im not allowed to access this blog... and it's MY BLOG! lol im not cut out for this computer, tech, difficulty bull shit! lol someone HELP!!! :) pwease!!!!!!!

posted by ~Manda @ 4:16 PM 1 comments

omg, so it's been a while since a "real" update on whats up. so much is going on right now it's crazy around here, personal and business like. well work is crazy, nothin new there....
leslie came in town for memorial weekend. so i got to see my bitch, (see pic above) it's been a while since i seen her, her parents had a cook out for her and her sister while she was in town so we hung out and ate and drank (they did, not me) and laughed! their parents are great! lol it was really funny when an ant went down her shirt! lol she liked to have flashed everyone with dem tig ol bitties - ha ha ha i love you girl... hope your bday was FAB! mwah!
my graduating class of 97 is going to be having a reunion next year so me and 2 other girls are trying to find everyone we know and get their contact info so we can make plans for a reunion. Our class president just contacted me a couple of days ago and was like, yeah im glad you are interested in doing a reunion, im gonna get all the officers together and start coming up with some plans. he says that he has some ideas for it and he knows that other people do to. so i let the girls that i was talking to about ti know what he said because it seems like now that we have done all this work that he is about to take over it.. which i don't mind that i just want SOMEONE to do something and make plans so that we actually HAVE ONE! the girl that is planning the reunion at this time said that she emailed him a while back and asked if he was doing one and he never responded so she asked his wife and the wife (also in our class) so no he wasn't doing one. so she took it upon herself to go ahead and start finding people because like me she just wants to have a freaking reunion! i have profiles on myspace.com louisvillemojo.com and myyearbook.com all trying to make sure that i find people! ;) it's working out pretty good.
in the process of trying to find people for my class i have found people from marks class (c/o 96) they are having a reunion in november which is great, cause we were all thinking that we wasn't gonna have one (or THEY) lol so now im helping their class spread the word for the reunion.
 

posted by ~Manda @ 4:08 PM 6 comments

on to other news...
i had lunch with an old friend the other day to catch up. it was awesome being able to talk about old times and new times and Future plans... oh and reunion plans! lol she had just found out like 3 days before hand that she was pregnant - yep pregnant 4.5 weeks!!!!! her due date is jan 30th so i think that's awesome so i doubt that she reads my blog but CONGRATS TO YOU! maybe i'll not be far behind you! :::::: giggles like a school girl ::::::::::
 

posted by ~Manda @ 4:01 PM 1 comments

speaking of school girl.. my lil sis had her graduation party over the weekend. i think it went pretty well! ;) looks like everyone had fun even ME and i was there to make sure that no one was grindin on each other... but why was i the one that had to act a "donkey" before anyone else would get up and dance? lol CRAZY! i was dancin like i was at the club at a 8th grade graduation... but i don't want to hear cause these girls have been watchin MTV for the longest... they have better hip moves than i do! :) getting "out danced" by some youngins! ha ha
 

posted by ~Manda @ 4:00 PM 3 comments

Kissy 4 u! 

posted by ~Manda @ 3:58 PM 2 comments

hey, that's me! ;) i asked linzy if her friends thought i was crazy and she said NO they thought you were 17! lol i was like oh... well that's not bad! ha ha  

posted by ~Manda @ 3:50 PM 3 comments

gettin outta the limo 

posted by ~Manda @ 3:48 PM 3 comments

the hottness
 

posted by ~Manda @ 3:48 PM 1 comments