~Manda's Thoughts~

Maturity - Do you have it?

DEAR ABBY: Would you please give me your definition of maturity? Thank you in advance. -- WONDERING IN WOODBURY

DEAR WONDERING: Maturity is the ability to control our impulses, to think beyond the moment, and consider how our words and our actions will affect ourselves and others before we act.

It's a funny thing, MATURITY! Alot of people really THINK they are mature just cause they have gotten to the age where they SHOULD be... but they're NOT mature, just old enough to be!
I am 25, my little circle of friends are all about the same age... bout 23 to 27. I love my friends but when i seen this dear abby, it got me thinking... IS ANYONE EVER MATURE? i mean to a point i think i am cause i have self control in a way that none of my friends do when it comes to drugs and alcohol.. i don't smoke weed, MOST DO and on a 2 or 3 times daily basis. i don't drink and MOST DO just every now and then cause we are growing out of the PARTY stage (we're all married). I also am not one to CAUSE a confrontation, i am more like the mediator, the one that is in the middle trying to help the two sides come to an understanding or agreement. I hate fighting with people and more than likely i am not going to say something to you that is going to hurt your feelings even if its' TRUE. Therefore, even when the truth needs to be told i will not be the one to tell you (in most cases), because i am always thinking of the out come of this... if i tell them THIS... they are going to be pissed that i even said it and probably wont talk to me for a week! lol and i love my friends so i don't do this.
So it seems that i GOSSIP... is that MATURE? i don't think so... i feel like everytime im with one friend we talk about the other, and this really only happends between us girls. i don't LIKE talking about the other person but it does allow me to voice my opinion about them and NOT GET INTO IT WITH THEM. but if it came right down to it and i was asked directly it is all stuff that i would say to their face (for the most part). But that has gotten me thinking... what are they saying about ME when im not around???? what do they REALLY think of me, when im the one thats out of the loop for the moment, what are they saying about me that they WOULD say to my face if i happend to piss them off enough, what is so TRUE about me that it'd hurt my feelings if i ever found out about myself?? i wish there was a way to find out with out having any kind of emotion behind it. like back when me and one of my girlfriends were living together... we use to fight all the time, couldn't get along and neither one of us would voice any kind of hurtful emotion toward the other until it was so extreme that we BLEW UP! one time she wrote me a letter and decided that she was going to let me know how much i suck the live with and how childish i act. well it hurt my feelings so to get back at her i let her know EVERYTHING i was feeling about her or had ever THOUGHT about her! (this was the only time i had ever done this) and she was PISSED she came home from work, went to her room backed some clothes and went to her parents... while she was gone i was going to borrow something from her closet... if figured she'd be gone for the night anyway and wouldn't know that i had used it. so i went to her closet and while searching for what ever it was that i was looking for (never found it) i found a notebook that she was using as a diary or journal and i am really a nosy person so i couldn't help but read it.
it went something like i cant stand living here with her she is lazy and don't clean the apartment and she always thinks she is right and she has zits and oily skin and oily hair.... i can't remember exactly how it went and some things are being left out, though i wish i could remember! but when i read that i was heartbroken to learn this stuff about me. but i see NOW that it was all true... well the ZITS was back then! LOL i still have zits but not as bad...even then though they wasn't bad but she always had PERFECT skin... that was her thing to be perfect, perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect body!
but anyway my point being if we hadn't lost it... and gotten into it, i seriously don't think that we would be friends today. we got everything off our chest with each other and after all the note passing and diary reading we had a LONG talk and found that we don't have to be the exact same to be friends and that the difference between us make us unique and that was a GOOD thing, not bad. we just had to learn how to live our different lives under the same roof for the remaining of the year. we accepted that we were different and we haven't had any problems in that aspect -since!
now we see each other only once a month and that's only cause we were fightin cause we wasn't seeing each other and we (well SHE) are too busy to hang out everynight or during the week. she has a 40+ hours a week job and she goes to school full time! AND she instructs at the gym 1 or 2 times a week! CRAZY HUH?...lol so we decided that if we make SURE to see each other once a month from now on... if more, that's great, if not - we still have our ONE DAY! and that works for us. i don't think that would work with my other friends though, i see them almost everyday... so once a month would SUCK! well i have blabbed enough. its derby EVE so no one is trying to work so i have played long enough better get to work...

posted by ~Manda @ 8:25 AM